31 July 2005
Some rules of the Country Pub on the A road(CPotAr):
1. If it can't be fried, we won't serve it.
2. We're open for food from 12 to 2. Arrive at 2.00.01 and you can feck off.
3. The customer is always a nuisance.
4. Overweight children with tattooed parents welcome.
5. 4X4s obligatory.
6. CPotAr Time = GMT -20 years.
7. Hideous plastic children's play area must be visible a minimum of four miles away.
8. Nasty banner badly hung across front of pub proclaiming "Roast Beef and Three Veg £7.99" mandatory.
9. Though the banner says "Roast", it means "fried".
10. The wine might be surprisingly ok.
29 July 2005
28 July 2005
I must give this a go, having had a £6.00 per month account hanging around for years owing to someone who shall remain nameless not wanting to give up an email address - from Lifehacker:
An AOL dialup account has always been notoriously easy to sign up for and hard to cancel. Tech expert Dave Taylor says it took 50 minutes (!) in total to cancel his account after signing up with one of those ubiquitous free CDs for fun. A Lifehacker reader had more success and writes in with tips and details of the experience:I just cancelled my AOL account in ten minutes. You should be proud of me.
Call 800 827-6364. Say: “Cancellation.” You’ll need answer to your security question. Voice recognition not bad.
Then a live attendant. They ask why you’re cancelling the service. Just repeat: I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it. Don’t be any more specific, or they’ll go off into a tree.
Then they’ll ask, are you planning to go on highspeed? Do you want high-speed?
No. No. No. No thank you. No thank you. Just repeat. You’ll have to do this about five times. Amazing. Like talking to an automated attendant who can’t understand what you’re saying.
Don’t explain anything, or it just takes longer
27 July 2005
22: Supermarket Fruit. Cold and mostly green, supermarket fruit sits at home for four days, inedible, and then, as we all know, turns soft, brown and treacherous on day five. And what is it with those orange nylon-netted bags of oranges? We all know that when we rip the bag open (hurting our office-dainty hands as we do so) they will be yellow and green and dry as a Sirocco wind.
25 July 2005
5/11/05 - Steve tried to get some rest today. He made a couple of phone calls and caught up on what's happening with the kids. He may have overdone it or caught a virus, because he didn't get any sleep. He was nauseous with hot and cold flashes.
I should mention here that I received several nasty emails about the website. Apparently Steve and I owe the media and the public an apology for not updating the website in a timely manner and allowing it to exceed bandwidth. Well, I do apologize about the website. As I mentioned my brother was in a car accident. He was ejected from a vehicle during the accident and landed on the highway median. I didn't have access to the internet until we arrived at his house. It took us two days to get here. So sorry to inconvenience anyone who was planning their day around the journal page. Also, I am sorry about exceeding the bandwidth for the site. Truly, I had no expectation that so many people would be interested enough in Steve's story to require more than what we had. As soon as I found out, I asked about increasing the bandwidth and will try to keep a closer eye on it in the future.
24 July 2005
After Death nothing is, and nothing, death,
The utmost limit of a gasp of breath.
Let the ambitious zealot lay aside
His hopes of heaven, whose faith is but his pride;
Let slavish souls lay by their fear
Nor be concerned which way nor where
After this life they shall be hurled.
Dead, we become the lumber of the world,
And to that mass of matter shall be swept
Where things destroyed with things unborn are kept.
Devouring time swallows us whole.
Impartial death confounds body and soul.
For Hell and the foul fiend that rules
God's everlasting fiery jails
(Devised by rogues, dreaded by fools),
With his grim, grisly dog that keeps the door,
Are senseless stories, idle tales,
Dreams, whimseys, and no more.
23 July 2005
19 July 2005
20. Sainsbury's: A similar process to that outlined above, but without the fact of being able to view items. Sainsbury's supply and distribution logistics are now so poor going shopping there is like visiting a Russian shop in 1974.
18 July 2005
Update: 6/6/12: Lordy look at that chromatic aberration top left.
14 July 2005
Call it "the cafe question." Any given weekday you can stroll by any given coffee shop in the city and see dozens of people milling about, casually sipping and eating and reading and it's freakin' noon on a Tuesday and you're like, wait, don't these people work? Don't they have jobs? They can't all be students and trust-fund babies and cocktail waitresses and drummers in struggling rock bands who live at home with their moms.
Of course, they're not. Not all of them, anyway. Some are creative types. Some are corporate rejects. Some are recovering cube slaves now dedicated full time to working on their paintings. Some are world travelers who left their well-paying gigs months ago to cruise around Vietnam on a motorcycle before returning to start an import-export business in rare hookahs. And we look at them and go, What is wrong with these people?
13 July 2005
8 July 2005
On top of the above, two members of staff are said to be amongst the missing. I don't know if there are any others seriously injured, but I heard of one member of staff who had a minor injury who wasn't in today and who will presumably have some trouble dealing with the tube in the future.
The planning for the emergency was, as elsewhere, well executed, though of course there are things that could be improved on and are in any case context dependent (for example, would need to be altered in the event of their being a chemical or biological component to any future attacks). I must say I didn't see any panic and it was an honour to be amongst such a level-headed workforce. The terrorists may not realise it, but they have helped cement resolve and have created a unified opposition to the perversion of their methods.
In addition to the above, of course, there were the phone calls / texts / emails to loved ones and the anxieties associated with any delays in responses. Journeys home were a bit of a chore but nothing that couldn't be coped with. The eerie calm everywhere was unusual, but the respect, patience and small kindnesses (smiles, longer than usual greetings and goodbyes) were all signs of the good that comes out of evil.
I could, in fact, go on but I won't. One last thing though: bombs won't change anything other than harden our resolve to defeat fundamentalism in all its cretinous forms.
6 July 2005
5 July 2005
4 July 2005
3 July 2005
Maybe what we should do is keep tinkering with it, refine it slowly over years - get rid of the most immediately disgusting practices in the short term (EU farm subsidies, selling censorship-endorsing computer systems to dictatorships, weapons to whoever the hell wants them and so forth), and amend, refine and flatten income distribution gradually. Really though, what is needed are more people who say "I have enough material wealth now - I'm going to stop accruing more". Sure, we can't have everyone doing that or innovation and advancement would halt, but a bit more "no, I don't need an effing 4x4" definitely wouldn't go amiss right now.
Welcome to Mrs Lemon's: Sic transit gloria mundi.
A more considered selection, and more commercial work, can be found at http://patrickdoddsphotography.co.uk where you will also find my latest offerings to the Great God Flickr.
Thanks for surfing by.
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