So there I am at the party where we are planning a re-creation of Michael Jackson's Thriller and someone says "does anyone have the video to hand?" So I think I'll just look it up on my Nokia 5800 or whatever forgettable name has been given to my new crappophone. First off I fire up the browser - takes an age and the first page is some rubbish from T-Mobile that tries to cram in so much information the font size is measured in atoms. Note that, according to T-Mobile, the first page isn't your Homepage - oh no, the entire rest of the world may think so, but T-Mobile, they know better, they know that you will give them your life's savings if only you have been shown the delights of their advertorial. So, I go to the menu, tap on "homepage", hate T-Mobile for another few seconds of my alloted span, and wait while Google comes up. I then type in my request and hit search. Only, when I hit search, I am taken back to the text entry page for the search box. Repeat about 15 times and then, for no reason at all, it works and I am shown some search results. Next, I get a "Low Battery" warning (having started off with about an 80% charge according to the bars nonsense on the screen) before being taken to a page that tells me the video is unavailable. I try going back to the search page - for some reason there is no "back" button available. I turn the phone off and contemplate, for a second or two, dropping it in the nearest drink.
Meanwhile, iPhone man is asked to find the video. He gets out his girlfriend's iPhone which he appears never to have used before. He quickly finds there is a YouTube shortcut, he taps this and about 30 seconds later a number of the party guests are listening to Thriller's opening Vincent Price bit and I am contemplating firebombing my local T-Mobile store.
There are 350 days left of my contract.
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