24th September 2004: I've hitherto thought my eyes too small so I thought I'd do something about it. I'm not sure the results of the surgery could be deemed a success however... oh, and btw, I've removed yesterday's photo as it was making me nervous for reasons I won't go into here.
17th Sept 04. The view from my desk. What a lucky chap I am working in such luxurious surroundings. Can you see George on the far wall?
You may think this picture dull but imagine what riches it will bring to future historians specialising in the story of The Office. Lummie!
2nd September 2004 - forgot again today so this one is a substitute - show's Paolozzi's "Newton" (1995) outside the British Library. A powerful work, I'm sorry not to have been able to do it more justice. With practice hopefully I will improve - I know I said this at the beginning of this enterprise and so far the signs are few and far between but I shall persevere.
I'm going to be kind, gentle and unassuming. I'm going to accentuate the positive and never again mention those unpleasant matters alluded to below. My apologies, I was a bit upset. If anyone would like to buy a really rather awful and no doubt network-locked phone, just email me.
1. What does "GPRS Parameters are not supported" mean?
2. What does "Please configure your phone for MMS" mean?
Shall I tell you? They mean never, but NEVER, get a Vodafone mobile.
Also, type"Happiness" and "site:UK" into Google and go to the first site.... erm, no, you can't - unavailable. Of course it's unavailable. You live in the UK. Unless UHT milk, shell suits, Ant 'n' Dec, The Daily Sport, motorway services and binge drinking are your bag, unless you enjoy Saturday night in Reading / Slough / Doncaster, unless you love seeing "Boots / WH Smith / Shabitat / Clinton's Cards (surely the worst offender?) / Tesco Metro (read Tesco Cupboard) / Sainsbury's House of Horrors" in your high street no, you won't find happiness here. You're in Tony Blair's / Margaret Thatcher's / John Major's Britain and it is, I'm sure you'll agree, entirely given over to ava…