Yes, this too has been posted previously, but this is a slightly different version with a little gaussian blur added to one layer and then overlaid on another. Layers, I hear you say, am I getting the hang of them? Still, I'm afraid, the answer is no.
Wahey, in a close field, Tony Blair, Diane Abbot, Jack Straw, Clare Short and George Bush have been pipped at the post for the award of Most Odious Politician of the Year by one Shahid Malik, Lab. Dewsbury. Let's have a look at his voting record (from theyworkforyou.com):
* Has never voted on a transparent Parliament. * Voted strongly for introducing ID cards. * Voted very strongly for Labour's anti-terrorism laws. * Voted very strongly against investigating the Iraq war.
Why the odiousness, you ask? Well, this is apparently the self-same MP who has been complaining at being detained by US customs officers. Yes, one of the men responsible for making everyone else's life a misery when flying has been subject to the same experience. Welcome to the real world Shahid. Next time I hope you are Extraordinarily Renditioned you disgusting hypocritical Yes man.
Well don't visit this site then. Whilst Media Master sounds good in principle, in reality it is as successful as, oh, I don't know, invading Iraq maybe, or Britain putting a machine on Mars. "Your music, nowhere" is, I think, an apt motto. On the other hand, if you don't have enough "awaiting upload" in your life, do visit, you will love the place. Silence is golden.
Looking to waste a few minutes and have the added benefit of raised blood pressure? Check out bluepulse. I think the day they dreamed up the name the conversation must have gone something like this:
"I'm totally visualising the company! I'm seeing a dude, a strangely peaceful dude. Very still, like this dude is asleep man...." "Hey yeah, I'm getting the same vibe. Very peaceful, the dude is like beyond sleep..." "Wow, yeah, like he's a totally freakin' dead dude! Awesome!" "That's it dude, the dude is dead. Peaceful and, you know, like, cyanosed!" "Cool. He's blue! And lifeless! Like our service!" "He's so dead, he doesn't even have a pulse." "That's it man! Synergy: we're gonna call ourselves Blueplus". "You mean, Bluepulse?" "Yeah man, Blueplus! That's it! Freakin' A!" "Like, dude, I think you mean Bluepulse?" "Bluepulse? WTF?..."
Call me an old cynic but I can't help thinking there is something fishy about Mr Haddock's death:
I am Paul Hanley, manager with one of the private Banks here in South Africa; I am also the account manager to an Australian businessperson based in South Africa by name Mr. Haddock Brads who died through fatal road accident in year 2005. I am writing to solicit your cooperation in transfer of funds left in Mr. Haddock?s account in amount of USD14.5M for disbursement amongst us and investment in your country.
If interested in my offer do furnish me on (email@example.com) with the following so that I can effect necessary changes in our system whereby your name shall appear as the next of kin to the deceased: Your name in full, office or residential address, contact no Tel & fax, proof of identification e.g. driver license. Note that your share for participating on this exercise will be 30% of the total sum transferred to your account.
[The Prime Minister] said that instead the document would be subject to a robust debate by MPs at Westminster, and added that once the treaty had been agreed people could "judge for themselves whether the British national interests have been protected".
The above from the Guardian again. Thus, no referendum. And if it is judged that British national interests haven't been protected? Well too late chum, you're in. Now I didn't think I was going to turn into a raving europhobe but currently, what with the complete absence of tangible benefits and the powerlessness, what other option is there?
20 miles an hour. In all residential areas. Excellent. But really, why stop there? Why not 5 miles an hour, or, to be really sensible, 2? If you are unable to drive faster than someone can walk, then surely no one can ever get hurt? Speaking of which, some wild and crazy cats still insist on crossing roads without full body armour and minus a helmet - what are they like, these bloody pedestrians clogging up our A&Es with their stroll-related injuries? Fine them all or, better yet, imprison them until they learn their lesson. FOR WE MUST HAVE NO RISK WHATSOEVER! WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THE SOFT PLAY AREAS, WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THE SAND PIT, WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER UNTIL THE LAST PERSON IN THE COUNTRY IS TOTALLY SAFE IN THEIR COTTON WOOL HOLE WATCHING SKY AND TERRIFIED OF THEIR NEIGHBOURS, THEIR BODYWEIGHT AND THEIR ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION. OH MY GOD QUICK CHARLES, SOMEONE ON THE HORIZON HAS LIT UP A CIGARETTE, CALL THE POLICE...
T-Mobile: $10,750 per gig. £7,500 for a gig of data from the web? Of course, if you use your T-mobile account while abroad. "Abroad", by the way, for me apparently means Europe, that place that the UK is meant to somehow be affiliated to. As in the EU. Ha ha. Haa haa haa ha ha. I rang Thief-mobile and asked when I would have been notified that this would be the amount I would be charged - £7.50 a megabyte (£22.50, or $33.75 for a short music track, for example). "Oh, you wouldn't be told Sir, after all, how can we know where you are going to go on holiday?" Well of course, you wouldn't tell people what they might be charged would you, I mean, not when you are basing your business model on that of a clip joint. Why did I think it would be different?
I know, I know, I'm dumb as a plank. Gave my email address to an estate agent the other day and of course it was like dropping a horse into a tank of half-starved piranhas. Wait though, I was even more stupid than you can imagine - I gave them my mobile number as well! "What about a finance advisor, a nice two-up-two -down in Kazakhstan, have you considered an igloo....?"
1. Experian - I just don't care, OK? 2. Apps - I'm not 12. Please, leave me alone. 3. Isn't it just a walled garden like AOL was before people found out that, actually, the corporate experience is always significantly worse than the real-life, "free" experience? Anyone who went to the Ivy more than 10 years ago and then again in the last 3 will know what I mean. Come to that, anyone who went to a rock concert before 1994 and has been to one since will also know. Children / teens: life doesn't have to be so awful, Virgin radio is the worst thing out there... try something fresh! 4. It's nearly time to leave it and watch Mark Zuckeburg (sp?) implode when the valuations dry up and he regrets for ever being remembered as the guy who refused $1 billion.
I really hope this letter from the Grauniad is true:
Not only does the CWU suggest we write to Royal Mail to show support for the postal workers without giving an email address (Letters, October 10), their ad gives a website address for general secretary Billy Hayes (www.billyhayes.co.uk) which doesn't exist; the email I sent to the CWU press office, at the address (firstname.lastname@example.org) for media inquiries given on the CWU website (www.cwu.org) was returned "no such user"; the telephone number for media inquiries - 020 8971 7267 - is unobtainable; and if you ring the helpline (0800 731 74 34) , a recorded voice says "this number does not receive incoming calls". Susan Loppert London
For my overseas reader, CWU stands for Communication Workers Union. Excellent. Back to work tomorrow I think lads.