28 December 2008

White Ash Pond, Richmond Park, London

Now with added breath

And, OK, their breath wasn't backlit but again,WTH.

Horse Riders by Moonlight, White Ash Pond, Richmond Park, London

OK, so not really by moonlight, in fact by the light of the setting sun, but what the hell.

Post Stats: Some Random Jottings

So, this then is how blogging ends, not with a bang but a whimper. A slow decline in the number of posts to Mrs Lemon's perhaps marks the beginning of the end. 312 so far in 2008, the lowest number yet. And, of course, very few photos overall this year. A poor effort, then, and I must do better soon or admit defeat. Lack of a readership remains a problem (greetings, though, to Mr A - your presence is most welcome) and, unless this situation is rectified, I fear Mrs Lemon may head for the long grass, never to be heard from again except by those with the inclination to visit the Wayback Machine.

Sale Items

Seems like if I want to buy a shoddy toaster that will last a fortnight, now is the time. However, if I'd like a D700 (and who in their right mind would not?), no price cut. Ah well, that's life.

11 December 2008

Elephants Die Earlier in Zoos

or so the BBC are telling us as "news". What next, bears curl one off amongst the trees?
(I do apologise - it's been a bit of a day).

28 November 2008

British terrsts in India? Marvellous.

So, we export terror around the world. Time for the Americans to invade us please. Or perhaps the Iraqi army should be invited over to show us how to keep control of our populace now that they have been trained up by us and the Americans? The possibilities are endless.
Update: Well, as of today's date (24th Jan 09) doesn't appear that there were British links, although of course we don't know all there is to know about the terrsts yet. So, no US-led coalition invading Slough any time soon.

6 November 2008

A comment from BoingBoing

Comment 81 from a thread discussing the entry "4-1 odds on the existence of god.....":

#81 posted by FoetusNail , November 5, 2008 1:46 PM

God is the best part of what it means to be human, cut from the sub-conscious, given form by imagination. When we are of the spirit, we for brief moments are allowed to experience the oneness that is our true self. When this separate imagined entity ceases to exist, we will once again be whole, as we always were before religion excised the best part of what it means to be human and turned our imaginations against us.

Quite beautiful. More about this later.

25 October 2008

Photo in media 2

Meanwhile, this was published in the Richmond and Twickenham Times this week. No payment for any pics published yet, but maybe that will come at some point in the future.

Photo in media 1

This pic appeared in the Guardian magazine last weekend:

14 October 2008

Crows, posts, sunrise, water

Here's another: As Anaconda Sees It: Lunch in the Park

Oh go on then, here's one called "Birds now"

"Am I Normal"

is coming on to Radio 4 in a moment. The radio is being retuned to Verandah FM, or some such, so that a bit of bluegrass can entertain. Whilst listening to this I shall ponder why everyone appears so worried by falling house prices when this is something that is clearly long overdue.


Isn't it time they were raised, and top tier ones the most? "Oh but the richest will leave the country". Well that would be a marvellous result - they can take their CDS's with them.

13 October 2008

Cupla Questions while I can still afford an Internet Connection

1. Why was Lloyds encouraged to buy HBOS when all the time Lloyds itself was short of funds?
2. Why is it a good thing for lending levels (aka debt) to be "boosted" to 2007 levels? Wasn't lending what caused the recessionary problems in the first place?

5 October 2008

Let us try again shall we?

File formats - blogger doesn't like TIFFS - ah well, when I can sort this out I will. In the meantime, try not to fret too much about what you are missing - you can always go to Flickr and see my pictures there in any case.

20 September 2008

"The end of the boom / bust cycle" Ha ha. Hardy ha ha.

This is what Naomi Klein thinks about recent events:

Nobody should believe the overblown claims that "free market" ideology is now dead. During boom times it is profitable to preach laissez-faire, because an absentee government allows speculative bubbles to inflate. When those bubbles burst, the ideology becomes a hindrance, and it goes dormant while government rides to the rescue. But rest assured: the ideology will come roaring back when the bailouts are done. The massive debt the public is accumulating to bail out the speculators will then become part of a global budget crisis that will be the rationalisation for deep cuts to social programmes, and for a renewed push to privatise what is left of the public sector. We will also be told that our hopes for a green future are too costly. If the state can intervene to save corporations that took reckless risks in the housing markets, why can't it intervene to prevent millions of Americans from imminent foreclosure?

(from today's Guardian).

Of all the commentators I've read (and I've not read so many newspaper and internet articles since 9/11), this to me feels like the closest position to my own. There is another way to go (real belief in a need for green change, recognition that we are more than billions of individuals with a shared worship of shopping, a move away from running the world according to the demands of agribusiness / industry), but we're not ready to go there for some reason. No party in the UK is willing to change the fundamentals, and clearly McCain and Palin won't be doing so when they are elected. So, get ready to watch the world worsen. More war? Oh go on then.

11 September 2008


There is definitely a limit to how much tinned mackerel one man can reasonably be expected to eat in a lifetime.

20 August 2008

AOL - an attempt at killing my account

So this was sent today - I haven't had the strength until now for reasons which are, if you know even the first thing about AOL, obvious. It was sent to cancel@aol.com or some such - I'll keep you posted:

Subject: Canceling my account.

HI there,
can you tell me how I do this? I am paying £5.95 per month and i understand I can have an email account for free - can you tell me how to do this, preferably online? thanks very much,
Patrick Dodds

(After sending I noticed that simply signing in to AOL has for some reason removed my bookmarks toolbar in FF - ah well, one day all will be in order again).

UPDATE: 1st Sept 2008.
Pro-forma lying emails back ("we care about your custom" or some such rubbish and a picture of a vapid blond noodling around with a laptop) and one request for more information. Then, nothing. I have emailed my credit card company from whom AOL take money asking if they can cancel the standing order - a long shot, but who knows.

18 August 2008


A while ago I blogged about this crappy company called bluepulse and now here they are in the Grauniad again. Guess what? Yep, it still doesn't work. The wonder is, of course, that I am stupid enough to fall for it again and to try and register - maybe when I key in my phone number it is collected by the Russian mafia? Ah well, no accounting for IQ. You can add them to Earthtone (impossible to register) and the ever-awful Riya - originally a supposed facial recognition system (in fact, you had to tag anyone you recognised in the pictures you uploaded and, erm, that was it). For some reason the Graun loves hyping these vapourware companies - gets their own traffic up I guess.

The paper regularly talks drivel about technology of course - take this little piece by Victor Keegan "praising" the Nokia N95:

"The main drawback is that you have to keep the camera still for a second or two when taking snaps to avoid blur, and it is not quite so good with close-up work. Access to the web was almost instantaneous but using Google still isn't user-friendly enough ...

Of the new features, the barcode reader (which has big potential for linking newspapers directly to the web) worked OK on the FT's front-page bar code, but not on the Observer's. The GPS satellite positioning - which opens up huge possibilities for local search - worked moodily, maybe because of a fault with this model. .... The N95 has a videophone which may come into its own one day, but I have never seen anyone using one.

It's expensive for a phone...."

There you have it then - the lag makes the camera useless for animated subjects (like, I don't know, say, people) and doesn't do close-ups; the sat nav doesn't work (no Victor, it wasn't just your phone - mine has never worked properly except one day on a ferry from Mull); the internet is painful; and no one uses videophone technology because it is so expensive and, erm, crap. Which leaves the barcode reader which, of course, is something everyone needs but which, sadly, only works 50% of the time according to Vic. And all this in an article entitled "Move aside gadgets - the N95 is here." Excellent.

17 August 2008

Everything is justified......

... to the Silver Surfer.

Screaming Caged Can Boy

On the Road

Don't Think Twice

This is my Boom Stick

Chiselled Looks

Amy is at the Door


Light and Shade, Soho, London


London, Saturday 2

I think this may be a sculpture by Sophie Ryder. I like her work.

London, Saturday

12 August 2008

Holi, India, 1993

While I'm on a scanning / travels jag, here's one taken earlier... May have Chickletted the teeth a bit in the touching up - apols.

Zanzibar tattoo

From back in the day when muscle tone was more than a memory. Skew-whiff temp tattoo put on during a walk with a guide called, I think, Mr Biswas, who was very well known all over Zanzibar.

Let me introduce my mother...

I think she must have been about 23 or so here.

My Father

Dug out a box of v. old slides today and dusted them off and did a rather poor job of scanning some of them - here is my father aged, what, about 23? I never got to know him and this is one of the greatest regrets of my life - he died when I was 14.

10 August 2008

The Lowry Centre, Manchester

Manchester: Where is everybody?

It has always been deserted whenever I've visited but I haven't given up hope of having a good time there at some point!
UPDATE: Actually, you know what? I have, given up on a good time there that is. It is dull, empty and wishes it was London. And the Lowry Centre looks like a playroom. Purple! Orange! Blue! Aren't we cool! No, you're tiresome.
Now, on the other hand, the pictures by Mr L himself, they were something of a revelation and did go some way to shake my association of the painter with Brian and effing Michael and that sodding "Matchstick Men and Matchstick Cats and Dogs" awfulness. In fact, the sketches and non-MMaMCaD pictures were great.

6 August 2008

Blessed are they.... b&w

Blessed are they.... colour

Colombia Road 2

Colombia Road

Cheesemania! But it kind of works somehow. Available in large volumes for about a tenner I suspect, probably shipped over from China where they are made by small deformed children living in darkness under the Bird's Nest stadium. Or something.

Garage Sandwiches

You can make your own Wordle (I know, I know, just try and move on) using any old bunch of text or a URL from a site with an Atom / RSS feed. I cut and pasted from a novel I wrote some time ago (don't ask) to end up with this:

2 August 2008

New Glasses

Spot the difference:

Spectwatular! A bit trippy and vomit-inducing but I am told that will pass. Besides, the payoff is being able to read.

25 July 2008

Illegal (though morally understandable) Filesharing

I don't, in fact, do this. However, any more from the unholy alliance of the government and the music industry and I am going to start.

23 July 2008

Sth Bank

Shopping Mistake Horror

So there I am in the queue at Marks and Spencers wondering if my bank account will cover a packet of credit-crunched cashews. I turn off my headphones and yank out an earpiece (just the one - my ears are better than my eyes and I only need one to function in these sort of scenarios - amazing how resistant to ageing I am.....!); shuffling forward I watch as the guy in front of me obediently toddles off when he hears "Please go to Till Number Seven". However, one of the till operators, one I happen to like as I have been served by her before and she has a "hey, I'm in control here yet you can still approach me and I won't bite" look about her, she thinks that I've not heard the Till Seven announcement and that I am a shopping neophyte, new to the ways of tillage, so she tells me that Number Seven is free. Now, I've seen Mr Crisps-dips-and-carrot-batons go off to Number Seven but, convinced that the till operator will be better at this game than I, I obediently head off thinking "oh my god I got the etiquette wrong, let the ground swallow me whole".
In my defence, I should say that Number Seven is further along behind a couple of pillars and no one can see from where we are whether it is occupied. So I take my cashews and stroll over only to find that Mr Batons is still there! I was right! NO SECOND ANNOUNCEMENT HAD BEEN MADE AND MISSED BY ME!
Then it dawns on me - everyone there thinks I have no clue. The confident till operator, Mr Batons, the operator of Till Number Seven, and the rest of the credit-crunched customers, they all think I have made a Shopping Error. Of course, there is nothing I can say that will quickly explain that in fact I was right all along and my till technique remains flawless, oh no, no way out for ol' Parsonage. So I have to take the hit, take the cashews and the tiny dribble of change returned in lieu of the tenner I handed over, and walk out with as much dignity as I can muster. As I leave I am thinking "lordy, get me home with no more ills".

22 July 2008

Witcha ill behaviour

First person to break through my flattened affect during commute this morning: grown woman (wedding ring, proper work clothes, the lot) sucking her thumb as she sat by the window. And I mean really giving it a good going over like her psychological well-being depended on it. Odd, and not a little unsettling.
Second person? Good looking and, initially, cool-seeming young hipster in sunglasses getting on at Clapham Junction ("Britain's busiest railway station" - also one of it*s most scruffy, but let it pass), getting out his hipster book to read, and then unselfconsciously burrowing away up his nostril before putting whatever he managed to scavenge into his mouth. OMG, even writing about it now makes me feel a bit nauseous.
And all this before my horribly over-priced coffee. Crumbs!

*Should there be an apostrophe here? Dang I hate that I don't know.

21 July 2008

New You! Magazine headline

It could, in fact, have been You! magazine, I have no idea. Anyway, the headline I saw on the train was "I don't regret cutting my balls off". Which, of course, is nice. Ah me, that we should live in such times.

18 July 2008

N95: The Ugly Truth

Nice camera, shame about most everything else.
Web "browsing". It just doesn't really do it does it? Try it on a train - watch it fail to connect. Install Opera? Doesn't like connecting to Thief Mobile's network. And the radio? Uh uh, unlistenable most of the time. Music? Very nice, if a little quiet. Shiny silvery finish on the buttons? Nein, danke - it isn't 1982. Sat nav? It would be quicker to use a sextant. Google maps? Well, OK, but really, accurate to 1800 metres isn't a lot of cop in the city; perhaps if you were on a prarie somewhere it might get you out of a hole. Bar code scanner? Erm, what for? Texting? Well, you can and it isn't as annoying as older Sonys but that isn't saying much. Battery life is risible.
Which leaves Snakes (annoyingly addictive), the camera (lag is, in mobile terms, acceptable at about an hour and a quarter), video calls (amusing, but shouting in public is only really fun when you are under 20 or drunk) and, last but not least, actual phone calls - this last it can manage, though of course like all other mobiles it mysteriously fails to ring 9 times out of 10 and instead makes the caller leave a message and you pick it up - twice the income for TM of course!

15 July 2008

FireFox - started a course of mogadon?

Dearie me, have had to disable extensions on FireFox to see if V3 would run rather than hobble - just about bearable now, but weren't, in fact, Extensions part of the reason that people chose FF in the first place? Lordy, might have to be back to IE awfulness soon.
UPDATE: Trying out Safari - so far so good. Not that keen on the grey slate appearance but I'm guessing that can be customised. Helpfully bookmarks are imported. Well, thanks FF, it was good while it lasted.
UPDATE 2: "I'm guessing that can be customised." Guess again - welcome to Apple world, where all of your choices are belong to Steve.