16 June 2008

14 June 2008

We cannot tell...

Layers? I'm on them now!

Political Changes

Well I'll be blowed. Never say never - there is now a Conservative for whom I would vote - David Davis of course. A weird and unpleasant chap (check out his views on the death penalty and the HRA), but his stand on 42 days, the DNA database, CCTV, RIPA etc is much to be admired. Kelvin and Rupert standing against him is unfortunate but in some senses their move only serves to further distinguish him from the unthinking Tory herds. What is so marvellous though is that he has done more through his resignation than all the hand-wringing politicians who have sat back and said "well, we did our bit and voted against this (42 days) - it's not our responsibility any more". What they don't understand is that there are a huge number of people in this country who are quite literally sick of the rush to exploit 7/7, 9/11 and the all-but-meaningless "al-qaeda" through nonsensical and draconian legislation that tears up all the reasons why one might be proud to live in Britain. If I wanted to live in a country with feudal attitudes and a legal system to match I'd have moved to America or an Islamic state a long time ago.
Yes Mr Davis has done something a bit impetuous, and no I wouldn't want to see him as PM, but in the short term he offers principled thinking that no other politicians seem to realise the public expect to see in their leaders. In the past the Tories have been accused by those on the far left (and I include my younger self in this group) as being "facist" - clearly that was something of an overstatement and only ever applied in very limited circumstances (MT's handling of the miners' strike, for example). However, locking people up without charge or trial truly is the mark of a facist (or, indeed, stalinist) regime and thank goodness someone is taking a stand against this.
The only problem now remains who to vote for in future. Clearly Davis is a one-off and there is no way I am going to vote for any other Tory. I shall be voting Lib Dem as to vote Labour is now worse than voting Conservative, but this isn't the answer for most people - at least here they have a chance of getting in whereas in most of the country there is no hope of this. I know it is the last refuge of the politically disappointed, but maybe emigration is the key?

Boats on the Fal, early evening

Tate St Ives 2

Hedge Parsley

Boat / ropes, St Mawes, Cornwall

Tate Modern, London


Grave, St Ives

St Ives


2 June 2008

May Spam Roundup

First up, I need to "improve [my] mans health bawdship". Why of course - I noticed that while I was reading that Napolean McGowan was "the only gay in this village". What I need to do is "add 4 inches to [my] penis" and "improve [my] little friend" so that I can watch as a "girl craps in hottub" (mmm hmm, that's got me clickin' through fo' sure).
Some messages are more straightforward this month than others, like the tersely titled missive "Hermes" - shoddy-to-non-existent tat anyone? Others are opaque, such as "babe wearing glasses fussock" - I suspect a conflation of noun and verb here, but I am guessing. Anyway, what I must not do is "let it fall when [I] need it up".
Henceforth I may have to change my name (I could borrow Lenora Gaudalupe's, maybe?) so that I can avoid emails in future from Bil Bang headed "you look really stupid patrickdodds".
So, until my next roundup, remember, "I'm Gumby, dammit!"
(Of course you are dear, now if you'll just have a lie down....).

Your custom sir? Oh I don't think we want that

To Lloyds Bank today to get some dollars for a 14 yr old making his first trip to the States:

Me: I'd like fifty dollars please. I have the cash here.
Cashier: Are you a Lloyds customer?
Me: Pardon?
Cashier: Are you a Lloyds customer?
Me [Confused]: Yes. Why?
Cashier: You need to be a customer to get dollars.
Me: So if I didn't have an account with you, I couldn't have any dollars?
Cashier: No.
Me: Why the f**k not?
Cashier: Because we believe in preserving the values of the Victorian era. Besides, if we were helpful to customers we might have them coming back. We wouldn't want that now would we? Now, bend over while I gather a DNA sample to make sure you're not a terrst.

Actually, the last two exchanges didn't take place, but they may as well have. Anyway, I carried on with the transaction (for all I know, other banks are just as stupid). Next up, the cashier had to fill out six pages of forms. Simple forms, but six pages nonetheless. SIX PAGES. It honestly made buying a train ticket in India seem simple.

Dull boat interior 1

These are quite addictive