25 July 2008

Illegal (though morally understandable) Filesharing

I don't, in fact, do this. However, any more from the unholy alliance of the government and the music industry and I am going to start.

23 July 2008

Sth Bank

Shopping Mistake Horror

So there I am in the queue at Marks and Spencers wondering if my bank account will cover a packet of credit-crunched cashews. I turn off my headphones and yank out an earpiece (just the one - my ears are better than my eyes and I only need one to function in these sort of scenarios - amazing how resistant to ageing I am.....!); shuffling forward I watch as the guy in front of me obediently toddles off when he hears "Please go to Till Number Seven". However, one of the till operators, one I happen to like as I have been served by her before and she has a "hey, I'm in control here yet you can still approach me and I won't bite" look about her, she thinks that I've not heard the Till Seven announcement and that I am a shopping neophyte, new to the ways of tillage, so she tells me that Number Seven is free. Now, I've seen Mr Crisps-dips-and-carrot-batons go off to Number Seven but, convinced that the till operator will be better at this game than I, I obediently head off thinking "oh my god I got the etiquette wrong, let the ground swallow me whole".
In my defence, I should say that Number Seven is further along behind a couple of pillars and no one can see from where we are whether it is occupied. So I take my cashews and stroll over only to find that Mr Batons is still there! I was right! NO SECOND ANNOUNCEMENT HAD BEEN MADE AND MISSED BY ME!
Then it dawns on me - everyone there thinks I have no clue. The confident till operator, Mr Batons, the operator of Till Number Seven, and the rest of the credit-crunched customers, they all think I have made a Shopping Error. Of course, there is nothing I can say that will quickly explain that in fact I was right all along and my till technique remains flawless, oh no, no way out for ol' Parsonage. So I have to take the hit, take the cashews and the tiny dribble of change returned in lieu of the tenner I handed over, and walk out with as much dignity as I can muster. As I leave I am thinking "lordy, get me home with no more ills".

22 July 2008

Witcha ill behaviour

First person to break through my flattened affect during commute this morning: grown woman (wedding ring, proper work clothes, the lot) sucking her thumb as she sat by the window. And I mean really giving it a good going over like her psychological well-being depended on it. Odd, and not a little unsettling.
Second person? Good looking and, initially, cool-seeming young hipster in sunglasses getting on at Clapham Junction ("Britain's busiest railway station" - also one of it*s most scruffy, but let it pass), getting out his hipster book to read, and then unselfconsciously burrowing away up his nostril before putting whatever he managed to scavenge into his mouth. OMG, even writing about it now makes me feel a bit nauseous.
And all this before my horribly over-priced coffee. Crumbs!

*Should there be an apostrophe here? Dang I hate that I don't know.

21 July 2008

New You! Magazine headline

It could, in fact, have been You! magazine, I have no idea. Anyway, the headline I saw on the train was "I don't regret cutting my balls off". Which, of course, is nice. Ah me, that we should live in such times.

18 July 2008

N95: The Ugly Truth

Nice camera, shame about most everything else.
Web "browsing". It just doesn't really do it does it? Try it on a train - watch it fail to connect. Install Opera? Doesn't like connecting to Thief Mobile's network. And the radio? Uh uh, unlistenable most of the time. Music? Very nice, if a little quiet. Shiny silvery finish on the buttons? Nein, danke - it isn't 1982. Sat nav? It would be quicker to use a sextant. Google maps? Well, OK, but really, accurate to 1800 metres isn't a lot of cop in the city; perhaps if you were on a prarie somewhere it might get you out of a hole. Bar code scanner? Erm, what for? Texting? Well, you can and it isn't as annoying as older Sonys but that isn't saying much. Battery life is risible.
Which leaves Snakes (annoyingly addictive), the camera (lag is, in mobile terms, acceptable at about an hour and a quarter), video calls (amusing, but shouting in public is only really fun when you are under 20 or drunk) and, last but not least, actual phone calls - this last it can manage, though of course like all other mobiles it mysteriously fails to ring 9 times out of 10 and instead makes the caller leave a message and you pick it up - twice the income for TM of course!

15 July 2008

FireFox - started a course of mogadon?

Dearie me, have had to disable extensions on FireFox to see if V3 would run rather than hobble - just about bearable now, but weren't, in fact, Extensions part of the reason that people chose FF in the first place? Lordy, might have to be back to IE awfulness soon.
UPDATE: Trying out Safari - so far so good. Not that keen on the grey slate appearance but I'm guessing that can be customised. Helpfully bookmarks are imported. Well, thanks FF, it was good while it lasted.
UPDATE 2: "I'm guessing that can be customised." Guess again - welcome to Apple world, where all of your choices are belong to Steve.

11 July 2008

Thief Mobile - part 12 of an ongoing series of posts

Anyone understand mobile phone contracts? For example, that thing where you upgrade / change network and walk out of the shop with cash in your hand? Me either. How about being on a Flext £25 monthly plan where you get £60 "worth" of calls and texts, are sent texts about how much of your £40 allowance remains, have a Web'n'Walk package (I know, I know, "Web'n'Walk": it's a crappy name - don't blame me; mind you, the crappiness is fitting given that the service is about as useful as free will in modern Britain) and get allegedly "free" calls at the weekend? Again, I have no idea what any of this actually means apart, of course, from the fact that T-Mobile are shafting me. I went to the shop to have it explained to me - the man behind the counter couldn't understand why the information about me on the web didn't show free weekend calls, but then later claimed that I do have them and the account is set up correctly... Go figure.