6 February 2015

Canon EOS 5DS / 5DS R: Unreal World Review

So, straight off the bat, I don't own one of these and I haven't even seen one in the flesh. But hey, I like cameras and I have an internet connection so I can blaze away with ill-informed opinions can't I? Of course I can.

Thus, first impressions: 50mp - are you kidding?! Those pixels will:

1. Be amazingly small and densely packed - expect noise out the wazoo!

2. Be very well engineered by the Canon maestros - expect noise to be surprisingly well controlled.

3. Give incredible detail - landscapers will be in heaven! And BIF togs*? Get your wide angle on, stop it down, photograph the entire sky and then crop baby, crop!

4. Be very hard to use to its full potential - plan on buying the best glass known to humanity if you want to be able to bear to look at your test shots of kitty and that wall. Your roving two year old? Forgeddaboutit.

5. Will be no harder to use than that hopelessly inadequate 12mp fossil you needlessly cripple your creativity with currently. Seriously! Buy this thing already! Call yourself a dentist??!

6. Be incredibly unforgiving. Get yourself a half-tonne of tripod and some sand bags before you even make your unboxing video unless you want to look like a complete newb.

7. With the size of those raw files, you're gonna need a Cray.

What's more, the camera:

1. Simply isn't for pros! 1/100,000 of a second top shutter speed,** WTF?? That's so lame. I regularly shoot wide open on the surface of the sun and there is no way this deliberately hobbled piece o' junk will meet my needs. I laugh at the misfortune of poor Canon disciples.

2. Is designed to meet the highest standards demanded by pros and those who want the best available combination of technical specifications and ergonomic facility and will be absolutely bloody perfect in every way. Yay! Canon back innovating! Eat dirt, Nikonites!

3. Is too big for my hands.

4. Is too small for my hands.

5. Doesn't have X, Y or Z.

6. Does have A, B and C.

7. Isn't a Nikon / Sony / Pentax / Fuji / Panasonic blah blah.

8. Is a Canon.

There. I hope that helps.

*Apologies. Shoot me now.
**I made that up.

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