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iTunes: Why oh why part the 71st

Does your heart sink every time iTunes fires up? Yes, I know, I should download another player and make it my default but even looking at the summaries of what they do / can do makes me tired. I don't want to build playlists or see my most played or arrange according to bit rate, size, colour of album sleeve, length of lyrics or date of death of composer. Would it be too much to ask that someone produce a player that lines up your music alphabetically and lets you choose what you want to play? And that doesn't update sixteen times a frigging day? Do I want to download the latest version of iTunes? No, I'd rather lose an eyeball. For the love of all that is sacred can't you leave the bloody thing alone for five minutes? Or, if you insist on messing with it, how about detaching it from your store and anything else that doesn't simply play music? Please, Apple, I'm begging you, detach it, make it 10% of its current size, present it in a format where I can understand what I'm looking at ("is this my library, iTunes Store, the App store, your home page, my library, your library?? What?! Where's my music gone???!"), and then LEAVE IT ALONE FOR TWO YEARS!

That is all.

Now, a calming picture of a flower:


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