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Introversion and Photographing People

Hmmm. A bit of a conundrum. Despite the blog and Instagram account, I'm a bit of a quiet person. I get embarrassed easily, I don't like being the centre of attention. However, I have to take photographs or I feel incomplete - do you know the expression "a day without an argument is like an egg without salt"? That's how I feel about taking pictures. The rationale behind this blog is photography and I have changed my life as a consequence of my love for it. But I am not a social success, I find socialising painful, and like any true introvert, rather than getting energy from being with other people I find it enervating. Which presents a problem for me because the thing I most like taking pictures of is people, they're the grail for me - everything else seems a bit pale and dull in comparison. Trouble is, because I don't find being with people easy I have to adopt a persona, I have to pretend to be relaxed and happy chatting and interacting when really I'd rather be eating my own spleen with a spoon. I know that some people can be both shy and successful people photographers - Diane Arbus I think was one, though I'm not absolutely sure; I think I heard that Annie Leibovitz might be another. In fact I think that some people get in to photography because they are shy and having a camera in front of their face at a social gathering is way easier than simply talking to people - that's certainly true for me.
What to do? I'll come back to this post in due course and develop it, in the meantime I took this recently and I wasn't totally paralysed with fear and social difficulty so all is not completely lost, but do bear in mind the huge hurdles I had to overcome in order to get near to taking such a photograph and the fact that, had I more than the social skills of a badger, I might have got some amazing pictures:


UPDATE 7/11/16: I think maybe it's a mistake believing that I need to adopt some sort of fake persona in order to hold things together - just to be myself is surely the answer? However, I can't help thinking it is easier to be oneself if one has first had a period of time where one has been successful and therefore one becomes the go-to person regardless of personality, if that makes sense? In other words, one has built up a client roster and is in demand and one can take a bit of a hit if one suddenly drops the pretence and simply is oneself. But that's not a position I'm in. Sure, I have some regular clients but not enough to ensure that I wouldn't simply drop out of circulation all together if I was as shy and retiring as I'd really like to be when with a camera in hand...

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My trouble is

when I'm confronted with a request for headshots, say, I can't just stop there I have to start experimenting. I mean, you wouldn't put this on Spotlight or the IMDb now would you? Ah well, I wouldn't do it if I couldn't, if you see what I mean. Above is the ever-beautiful Claire-Monique Martin taken on Friday. Other photographs were procured.

Trump'ed on

You're probably sick of reading Niemöller's quote but here it is again - why not have another butcher's':

"First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— 
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me."

(from The Holocaust Encyclopedia).

I've read it so many times throughout my life that when it appeared in my Facebook feed I'd roll my eyes and scroll past wondering why some unimaginative ass had bothered to post it yet again - didn't we all already know it off by bloody heart?

And now here I am, another unimaginative ass, posting it on the web and ensuring that both my readers are pissed off and bored. Only it does have a new urgency now doesn't it? I mean with The Orange One in power it becomes resonant again…

Waltercio Caldas

Portrait taken at Cecilia Brunson Project, Bermondsey.

From Wikipedia:

Waltércio Caldas Júnior (born 6 November 1946), also known as Waltércio Caldas, is a Brazilian sculptor, designer, and graphic artist. Caldas is best known as part of Brazil's Neo-Concretism movement as well as for his eclectic choices in materials.