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Introversion and Photographing People

Hmmm. A bit of a conundrum. Despite the blog and Instagram account, I'm a bit of a quiet person. I get embarrassed easily, I don't like being the centre of attention. However, I have to take photographs or I feel incomplete - do you know the expression "a day without an argument is like an egg without salt"? That's how I feel about taking pictures. The rationale behind this blog is photography and I have changed my life as a consequence of my love for it. But I am not a social success, I find socialising painful, and like any true introvert, rather than getting energy from being with other people I find it enervating. Which presents a problem for me because the thing I most like taking pictures of is people, they're the grail for me - everything else seems a bit pale and dull in comparison. Trouble is, because I don't find being with people easy I have to adopt a persona, I have to pretend to be relaxed and happy chatting and interacting when really I'd rather be eating my own spleen with a spoon. I know that some people can be both shy and successful people photographers - Diane Arbus I think was one, though I'm not absolutely sure; I think I heard that Annie Leibovitz might be another. In fact I think that some people get in to photography because they are shy and having a camera in front of their face at a social gathering is way easier than simply talking to people - that's certainly true for me.
What to do? I'll come back to this post in due course and develop it, in the meantime I took this recently and I wasn't totally paralysed with fear and social difficulty so all is not completely lost, but do bear in mind the huge hurdles I had to overcome in order to get near to taking such a photograph and the fact that, had I more than the social skills of a badger, I might have got some amazing pictures:


UPDATE 7/11/16: I think maybe it's a mistake believing that I need to adopt some sort of fake persona in order to hold things together - just to be myself is surely the answer? However, I can't help thinking it is easier to be oneself if one has first had a period of time where one has been successful and therefore one becomes the go-to person regardless of personality, if that makes sense? In other words, one has built up a client roster and is in demand and one can take a bit of a hit if one suddenly drops the pretence and simply is oneself. But that's not a position I'm in. Sure, I have some regular clients but not enough to ensure that I wouldn't simply drop out of circulation all together if I was as shy and retiring as I'd really like to be when with a camera in hand...

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